Experts Agree Giant, Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

WarCollider Says:

Oct 22, 2009 - The real question is, are you high?

Boobalopbop Says:

Oct 24, 2009 - Jeff Goldblum

drshields1988 Says:

Oct 24, 2009 - i know its fake but giant crabs would need to eat a hell of a lot and the energy that would be required to feed them and clean up their poo would be alot more than a machine

edfreak9001 Says:

Oct 27, 2009 - ...Are we all screwed mommy?

vdoslave87 Says:

Oct 28, 2009 - farty hostage released from captivity!! lol!

Cygnusx27 Says:

Oct 29, 2009 - hahahahahahahaha OMG i love The Onion so much. ive been laughing at these videos for like an hour straight.

HowToCook40Humans Says:

Nov 4, 2009 - Jeff Goldblum warned us, but we didn't listen. Now we all have crabs!

Nicholpis Says:

Nov 4, 2009 - This video is hilarious. The big chick is my favorite.

wolvereenie Says:

Nov 5, 2009 - GIANT ENEMY CRAB

deoradude Says:

Nov 5, 2009 - frogblast the ventcore!

AZbassist623 Says:

Nov 5, 2009 - Genius response

chepe0518 Says:

Nov 6, 2009 - Thats a smart crap!!!!

Mulletboi86 Says:

Nov 6, 2009 - is this news cast for reals??! they make it seem so natural!!

axiytuns Says:

Nov 6, 2009 - oh my god what the hell... infact you guys are so funny

UsernameClayton Says:

Nov 6, 2009 - Haha love the Jurassic park reference

elitemangofreak Says:

Nov 7, 2009 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

kogaxinuyasha Says:

Nov 12, 2009 - attack its weak point for massive damage! :)

TianyieSeiWoi Says:

Nov 18, 2009 - crab u mean? XD

chepe0518 Says:

Nov 18, 2009 - i did nt mean crab

southparkgtaca Says:

Nov 20, 2009 - Giant enemy crab. Hit it's weak point for massive damage.

iwishiwasthestig Says:

Nov 21, 2009 - jeff goldblum cant be right all the time, these crabs are going to be just fine! maybe the army of self aware humanoid robots with glowing red eyes will also work

dm121984 Says:

Nov 22, 2009 - I agree, the race of genetic super soldiers with glowing eyes should be enough to ensure the crabs remain docile even when they make their appearance on the Jerry Springer show. Jeff Goldblum is, frankly, simply bias against the work of one-eyed robotically clawed scientists like Dr. Mordock. Shameful of him.

ERodriguez000 Says:

Nov 23, 2009 - +1. Lol

ERodriguez000 Says:

Nov 23, 2009 - +1. Lol

flatabala Says:

Nov 23, 2009 - Oh uhh..dont worry guys they have a weakness if they ever attack for some odd reason... just flipped it on its back and hit its weak point for massive damage people.